We skipped a week, but we’re back with the competition, & this time the field has been expanded by one Ms. Alison Ottaviano. Who is this new rogue force sandwiched between familiar faces? I’ll tell you: She’s a Threat. A dominant & dangerous new presence in the competition.
On the left side, we have Carson styling in a mid-80s technological relic of a tie. It’s like you cut Dilbert out of the Sunday Comics & sent it back in time in a Delorean. It’s everyone’s accountant dad’s wet dream of a tie, & it’s got the stains to prove it.
Dead center is the new girl, Ally Ottaviano, decked out in a shiny purple tie featuring dandelions or poppies or some kind of psychadelic flower. It’s like someone cut a swath of upholstery from the couch in the common area of a late 80s Los Angeles coke den.
And on the right, Pete is donning a mountain scenescape, complete with several very foreboding big horn sheep. This tie was likely designed by the benefactor of the guy who invented the Rocky Mountain Oysters.
I am truly disgusted by all three of you.
